I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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