I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
