i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
