Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
