Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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