Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
