Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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