i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
