If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
