and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
