Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
