So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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