I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
