I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
