oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I currently don't understand fingers.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
