"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
