So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
