okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
