Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
