I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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