Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
