I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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