If that was your dad, he is hot
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
