i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
