How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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