conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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