i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
