Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
