There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
