So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
