you're like a bully in the Christmas story
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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