My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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