im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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