I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just tell him i said nine months
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
