K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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