nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
