I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize