well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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