saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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