I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
