I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
