i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
