i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
