after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize