I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize