She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
