I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
