We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
