But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
