why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize