I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
