Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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