It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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