I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
