Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
