M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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