well I can't set my house on fire every night
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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