My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
