We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize