I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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