so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
