some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
