I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize