apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
