It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
