Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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