There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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