I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
