when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
