The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
