Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
