dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
