so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
