Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
