a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
